06.19.20: From the so- called desk of…

…Helen.

What’s Up With Father’s Day?

This has been bothering me for years. I don’t know if I’m the only one, but when I shop for Mother’s Day cards the choices are endless, but when it comes to Father’s Day cards, clearly dads are getting shortchanged.

But what makes it particularly annoying for me is how it always undermines my ability to continue our thirty-year family tradition of “hiding” greeting cards the night before every holiday. The cards are not actually hidden, but placed in very obvious places like next to the coffee mugs, in the silverware drawer, or even in the refrigerator. Anywhere that you know they will be found pretty quickly.

But as things sometimes go, it started to get more than a little competitive, so a while back I had to put my foot down and insist that we cap the number of cards from human family members to no more than three, and only one card from the cat. The cat, by the way, prefers to place her cards next to the cat food, so it serves as both good wishes and a reminder not to forget to feed her.

But more than any other holiday, finding great Father’s Day cards has always been a challenge, and I find the paltry selection to be pretty exasperating. And on top of the limited selection, I have a real problem with all of the recurring Father’s Day themes.

Let’s put it this way, if aliens were to land in the United States, say right around mid-June, and happen to be exploring a shopping mall and stumble upon a Hallmark store, they would fully expect that all earthling fathers are either fishermen, golfers, master craftsmen, car lovers, or barbecue chefs. Of course on the flip side, there are also plenty of cards implying that dads are couch potatoes, or beer drinking necktie fanatics. Holy Hawaiian shirts, it’s time to make up your mind!

Now except for maybe the couch potato theme, no man in my family falls into any of those categories. That’s not to say that they haven’t gone fishing, or can’t grill a mean burger, but none of the so-called “dad” topics ring true. So, finding the perfect card is always a challenge, and it’s not beneath me to stash away a particularly good card for a few years, and then haul it back out and regift it. So far, my husband has not said anything. So either he doesn’t remember, or he thinks my memory is so bad that I bought the same card more than once. Either way you did not hear this from me.

But then, and also no small matter, there’s the whole Father’s Day gift thing. Searching for ideas online does not help at all. But since this year I’m not planning on purchasing a Swiss Army knife, a punching bag, a BBQ apron that says King of the Grill, or a chain saw, I think we are going to have to go with a good steak and potato dinner. This will be as much a surprise to my husband as the greeting card placed next to his toothbrush, but without a doubt it will be made with great love and appreciation.

Ponderings for the week…

  • I’m wondering, if I make my own Father’s Day card, what I would say. I’m thinking a squirrel theme, but I will make sure that everyone concerned knows that under no circumstances are holiday cards from our backyard squirrel friends allowed… ever.
  • I’m wondering where I hid the ice cream maker that we gave my husband a few years back. I have to make sure it remains hidden, we all gained ten pounds that month.
  • I’m wondering if I should go ahead and get my husband the Mighty Carver Electric turkey knife that looks like a chainsaw. Let the fun begin!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCtrScg9tn4