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Wheel in the sky

Earlier this week I ran into a mom I know in the hallway at Colby’s school. Our sons are both in first grade. We jumped straight from, “how are you guys?” to a list of things neither of us was feeling accomplished about. I belong to the gym but only go once a week. I take guitar lessons but can never find the time to practice. We finally got a dog but don’t remember the last time I took her to the park.  And dinner? Suffice to say that Betty Crocker would not be impressed (hell, even Wendy wouldn’t be impressed, or Ronald McDonald, for that matter). But take a number, right? Are there moms who, when you bump into them in the hallway at school, talk about how rested they are? How they just don’t know what to do with their days?  Maybe, but clearly I don’t travel in those circles. I guess that’s why there’s thousands of blogs written by busy moms… “chicbusymom,” “justabusymom,” or a blog by Kimberliah described as “a working mother to 3 boys… as told by the voices in my head,” (Might have to go back and actually read that one. Maybe the voices in her head will become friends with the voices in my head). In any case, there’s no shortage of women to identify with when you have that sinking feeling that you’re… sinking.

 

That’s why some genius invented happy hour. And book club. And book clubs that meet during happy hour. And David Beckham (sorry, non sequitur?). That’s why we have to be extra kind to ourselves. Sometimes the men in our lives are the source of the extra kindness, sometimes our girlfriends are too – thank god – but sometimes it’s up to us to treat ourselves to a little extra something. You need to know when you’re going over the edge and save yourself. Men are usually better than us at that. And that’s not a dig, (really, I promise, honey) but when they need to surf, they go surfing. Desperate for a run? They’re out the door. A day on the couch watching football? Done. Women tend to wait until everyone else’s needs are met before succumbing to their own. Are everyone else’s needs ever met? Of course not. So who’s the fool in this scenario? It’s not wrong to put everyone ahead of you, but it is foolhardy. And tiring. And sometimes (spoiler alert!) we get grumpy. Use that Burke Williams gift certificate you’ve been saving. Buy a new pair of shoes. Drink a glass of wine in the bathtub (fill it with water first). Or sign up for guitar lessons. Even if you don’t practice at least it’s something you do for you. I hear David Beckham takes lessons at this place in the Palisades…